PROOF LIFE ORIGINATED IN CHINA
MAN PULLED OVER
BY TROOPER ON FOOT
MAN FLEES OFFICERS ON RIDING LAWNMOWER
WOMAN MISUSES 911 FOR A DATE
MAYOR'S KID KIDNAPPED
RICE INFORMS PRESIDENT BUSH OF NEW LEADER OF CHINA
DOZENS SPOT UFO IN REPUBLIC
POLKA BAND DENIES BEING 'KINGS OF POLKA'
AREA MAN EXPERT ON WHAT WOMEN HATE
EASY SOLUTION TO FIX OUR HORSE S#IT ECONOMY
ROCK & ROLL A COMMUNIST PLOT
OUR NATION'S CRUMBLING INFRASTRUCTURE
DIS COUNTRY DON'T NEED NO PRESIDENT
TRIVIA

TOP STORY!
China Responsible For Origin Of
Life Here On Earth

Yimmi Tucker has discovered the origin of life here on Earth and the results may or may not surprise you. He has found what he states is proof life on Earth
originated in China.

My Guaranteed
Solution To Fix Our
Horse S#it Economy

Back is Clarence Norr, bringing to you readers an opportunity to educate yourselves under his expert tutelage on ways to fix our countries horse-sh*t economy.

Rock and Roll: A Communist plot
Leading to the Down Fall of
Our Country

Once again Stan Tuttu has it all figured out in this intriguing column. He's eager to share his insight with all concerned.

Man Driving Drunk and Doing 60mph Pulled Over By Trooper On Foot

Gwinn man arrested and now in shock after being pulled by Trooper running 60 mph.

Links To Other Previous Exciting News Stories Located Above-Left!
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