At 4 o' clock this evening a kidnapping took place in Winona. Orsham J. Wuntis II, son of Orsham Wuntis, Mayor of Winona, was nabbed outside of Da Yoopers Academy for the Truly Privileged Private School while waiting to be picked up for an appointment.
    Eyewitnesses saw two suspicious looking characters resembling the Carlyson Brothers, U-Bolt and Eye-Bolt, both from Diorite, hanging around the school earlier in the day. The kidnappers sent Orsham Junior to the Mayor's office with a ransom note pinned to his jacket that demanded a case of the finest Yooper beer and one million dollars.

Orsham J. Wuntis II (left pic) and Orsham Wuntis I, Mayor of Winona, Father of Orsham Junior.

   The mayor was outraged that the kidnappers had demanded a case of his prized Moose Rut Ale which is highly sought after and very rare, but seeing no other course of action, he sent the kid back with the beer and a suitcase full of money.
   The mayor is asking anyone with information that will lead to the safe return of his son and more importantly, his Moose Rut Ale, are to contact him directly at the Mayor's office.
   Story by Jim Bellmore