Copyright 2003
All rights reserved

DA YOOPERS SCHOOL FOR 
THE TRULY UNGIFTED

MEET OUR FACULTY
We are offering the following curriculums:

DANGLIN'-DICK-BIRD
BUNCE
  • The Art of Free Beer Mooching
  • School Bus Scholarships
  • How To Get Drunk on a Dollar 101
  • Booze Cruising 101
  • Internship To Advanced Alcohol  Consumption
  • Kegger Organizing 101
  • Beer Gut Body Building 205

JIM "SCHWEEN"
BELLMORE
  • Frozen Pizza: It's History and  Impact on Post World War II  America
  • The Analyses of Analytical  Analyzing 101
  • Method One: Guitar Playing with your Butt
  • Underwear Dancing: Is it for everyone?
  • Jouncing Jazongas: To poke or not to poke?

STEVE SKEET-BINDERS CALHOUN
  • Interpretation of Drunkenese
  • Crazy Women 102
  • Out House Hole Construction
  • Septic Service Technology
  • Snow Scoop  Service Technician

BOB-DUH
ANIMAL SYMONS
  • Drums and the Downfall of  Western Civilization
  • Method One: How to Play Drums with your Lips
  • Rabbit Droppings for Fun and  Profit 101
  • Day Care 101
  • Tongue Waving and You
  • Earth Worm Farming
  • Pasty Shop Management

REGGAE LA-SARDINE
LUSARDI
  • Fundamental Smelt Dipping
  • Applied Deer Processing
  • Pulp Peeling 101
  • Ice Fishing Auger Use
  • Deer Shining Applied Science

DILL-DERE-DOUGH
NIEMI
  • The Nacho and You
  • Zen and the Art of Falling Asleep in Impossible Positions Anytime,  Anywhere
  • Advanced Returnables  Technology
  • Go Cart Driving School
  • Science of Burps

JIM "HOOLIE" 
DECAIRE
  • Deer Camp Management
  • The Fart and its uses as an  Aphrodisiac
  • Fartology: It's Meaning and  Myths
  • Mini Golf Coarse Management
  • Outhouse Theory
  • Academic Cheating 201
  • Rest Stop Management
  • Dead Peckers Bench Building

LINDA "LINTO-BURGER"
BELLMORE
  • Restaurant Drive Through Communications
  • Weird-ass Techniques for Playing Slot Machines: What Works
  • Party Organization 101
  • Back seat Driving 101
  • Hamburger Helper Preparation  101
  • Boobs and their use as a Floatation Device
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Yooperville U.S.A.
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