PAGE TWO
1. The Fishing Trip
2. Fishing With Fred 
3. Free Beer
4. Gimmie Another Beer
5. Grandpa Got Run Over By A Beer Truck
6. Happy Birthday Fungus Face
7. Heikki Lunta
8. The I-500 Snow Machine Race
9. I Tink My Beagle's Gay
10. I Want A Rinky Dinky doodad For Christmas
11. Ice Shacker In Paradise
12. Johnny Peckanen
13. Little Rat Ronette
14. Lonely Yooper
15. Meat Head
16. Mental Monkey
17. My Car Won't Go
18. Naked Elves In Cowboy Boots
There's more Lyrics! Click below to visit page three or to go back to page one...
 

 
1. SOME OLD GUY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS SECRET SPOT
WHERE THEY JUMP IN THE BOAT BEFORE THEY GET CAUGHT
YOU WONíT FIND A MORE PERFECT DAY
LIFE IS TOO SHORT HEY WHAT DO YOU SAY
IíLL BE RIGHT OVER WITH THE TRUCK AND THE BOAT
SHEíS A LITTLE LEAKY BUT SHE STILL FLOATS
IíLL PICK UP THE BEER AND THE WORMS AND THE GRUBS
WEíLL STOP AT RALPHíS FOR ITALIAN SUBS

CHORUS:
WEíRE GOING FISHING WE JUST CANíT WAIT
WE LOVE THE SMELL OF STINKY BAIT
LEAKY BOATS, WADERS TOO, A COOLER FULL OF ICE COLD BREW
REEL ëEM IN, WATCH ëEM FLOP, I LOVE TO FISH I JUST CANíT STOP
WHEN THIS FISHING TRIP IS THROUGH
IíLL BET I HAVE MORE FISH THAN YOU
IíLL BET I HAVE MORE FISH THAN YOU

2. THIS ROAD IS ROUGH AND WEíRE BEATING THE TRUCK
BOGGED TO THE AXLES IN THREE FEET OF MUCK
TWO FLAT TIRES AND JUST ONE SPARE
RIDING ON THE RIM BUT WE DONíT CARE
WE FIND THE LAKE AND WE SEE ëEM JUMP
WE PUSH OUT THE BOAT AND I TRIP ON A STUMP
I HOOKA BIG ONE AS I FALL IN
HE SLAPS MY NOSE WITH A BIG TAIL FIN

(REPEAT CHORUS) 

3. MY LINE IS TANGLED AND MY FEET ARE WET
GOT A HOOK IN MY EAR AND A HOLE IN MY NET
THE BOAT STARTS SINKING AND I LOSE AN OAR
ROWING IN A CIRCLE TRYING TO MAKE IT TO SHORE
STANDING IN THE WATER UP TO MY CHIN
WITH A TANGLED LINE AND A STUPID GRIN
I FEEL SO SAD WHEN THE FISHING TRIP ENDS
I JUST CANíT WAIT TO GO FISHING AGAIN
 

Copyright 1993 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
1. 20 YOOPERS IN A PONTOON BOAT 
DRIVEN BY MY BUDDY MIKE
WE'RE FISHINí OUT ON THE BASIN 
FOR ALLIGATOR WALLEYE PIKE
EMIL BROUGHT HIS TV 
AND ROUTIEíS BEAGLE FRED
HE'S TOO OLD TO DRIVE A RABBIT 
SO HE COMES FISHINí WITH US INSTEAD

WE GOT LAWN CHAIRS A POKER TABLE 
AN ICE COLD KEG OF BEER
WE'RE LOADED DOWN WITH SO MUCH STUFF 
MIKE CAN HARDLY STEER

CHORUS:
20 YOOPERS IN A PONTOON BOAT 
FISHINí FOR MOBY DICK
DA WIFE SHE THINKS I'M WORKING 
& DA BOSS HE THINKS I'M SICK
IT'S A PERFECT DAY FOR FISHINí 
DRINKING BEER AND TELLING LIES
ITS A LITTLE BIT LIKE HEAVEN 
WHEN YOU'RE FISHINí WIT DA GUYS

2. MOOCH IS SHOWING DIRTY SHIRT 
THE PROPER WAY TO CAST
HE SNAGS OLEí NO NECK BY DA EAR 
OF COURSE NOBODY LAUGHS
DABBERíS GRILLING VENISON STEAKS 
DA FLAMES ARE THREE FEET HIGH
HIS FISHING HAT IS SMOLDERING 
BUT IT KEEPS AWAY DA FLIES

MUNGOíS ON HIS FIFTEENTH BEER 
HE'S STANDING BY DA KEG
HE DON'T KNOW FRED DA BEAGLE
IS GOING ON HIS LEG

(REPEAT CHORUS)

3. A WINNEBAGOíS BOBBING BY 
IT LOOKS LIKE NOAH'S ARK
ITS FULL OF TERRORISTS FROM OHIO 
FISHING FOR FRESHWATER SHARK
THEY SAY SOME FOOL FORGOT DA PLUG 
THEIR BOAT SANK LIKE A ROCK
SO THEY LAUNCHED DA WINNEBAGO 
IT BEATS FISHINí FROM DA DOCK

SO WE ALL RUN UP FRONT TO LOOK 
AND DA PONTOON STARTS TO SINK
EVERYBODY BUT FRED DA BEAGLE 
ENDS UP IN THE DRINK

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Copyright 1991 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
1. SOME GUYS LIKE THAT BOTTLED BEER 
SOME LIKE IT IN A CAN
SOME SAY A KEG'S THE BEST BEER 
FOR A REAL BEER DRINKING MAN
EVERYONE HAS THEIR FAVORITE 
BUT ON ONE THING THEY AGREE
THE GREATEST BEER IN ALL THE WORLD
IS THE ONE YOU DRINK FOR FREE

CHORUS:
FREE BEER FREE BEER 
THAT'S MY FAVORITE BRAND
IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO BUY IT 
ITS THE BEST BEER IN THE LAND
WARM FLAT FUNKY 
IT DON'T MATTER TO ME
THE GREATEST BEER IN THIS WHOLE WORLD 
IS THE ONE YOU BUY FOR ME

2. THE BOYS AT THE BAR WERE BETTING 
ON WHOSE BEER WAS THE BEST
I DIDN'T HAVE A NICKEL 
SO THEY CHOSE ME TO MAKE THE TEST
THOSE FIFTEEN DIFFERENT KINDS OF BEER 
WERE WONDERFUL TO ME
EACH ONE WAS MY FAVORITE BREW 
THE BEER I DRINK FOR FREE

(REPEAT CHORUS)

3. OUR OLD PAL NUDSIE GOT MARRIED 
HE WAS TRYING TO SAVE SOME BUCKS
HE WENT OUT AND BOUGHT THE CHEAPEST BEER 
AND BOY IT REALLY SUCKED
BUT AFTER YOU CHOKE THAT FIRST ONE DOWN 
THE REST GO EASILY
AS LONG AS YOU REMEMBER THAT 
YOU'RE DRINKING THEM ALL FOR FREE

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Copyright 1991 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
1. THE BOSS BEEN ON MY BUTT ALL WEEK
HEíS LUCKY THAT I EVEN SHOW UP
DA OLD LADIEíS BITCHINí CONSTANTLY
TO GIVE MY BEERINí UP
SHE LISTENS TO THE MOTHER-IN-LAW BITCH
ABOUT LIVING THEM YEARS WITH A DRUNK
HELL IF YOU LIVED WITH DAT OLE BAT
YOUíD STAY DRUNKER THAN A SKUNK BROTHER
THEY DONíT UNDERSTAND THAT A MAN NEEDS A BREAK
WHAT BETTER WAY THAN TO GET PEELED UP
SO TONIGHT LETS GET SOME JUMMIES
CRUISE DA CAMP, GET HALF LIT PRETTY MUCH A LITTLE BIT

CHORUS:
SO GIVE ME ANOTHER BEER
COME ON CANTCHA HEAR
IíLL SCREAM IT IN YOUR EAR
GIVE ME ANOTHER BEER

2. THE OLE LADIEíS OUT THERE LAYINí ON THE HORN
CAUSE SHEíS GOT NOWHERE TO STICK HER CAR
I GOTTA GET RID OF THAT MOUNTAIN OF EMPTIES
DA GARAGE SMELLS LIKE WOODIEíS BAR
IíM GONNA PUT A KEG OF BEER IN THE ICE BOX
HOOK UP A GARDEN HOSE TO THAT
BOLT THE NOZZLE TO MY LAZY BOY
THEN IíLL ALWAYS HAVE BEER ON TAP
SOME PEOPLE JUST DONíT UNDER STAND
WE WORK HARD AT TWO CAREERS
WE WORK ALL DAY AT DA SALT MINE
AT NIGHT WE WORK POUNDING BEERS

(REPEAT CHORUS)

BORN TO DRINK BEER
GO CAMP GET DRUNK
BORN TO DRINK BEER
FALL DOWN THROW UP
BORN TO DRINK BEER
CRAWL HOME TO BED

Copyright 1996 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
CHORUS:
GRANDPA GOT RUN OVER BY A BEER TRUCK
COMING OUT OF WOODY'S CHRISTMAS DAY
GRANDMA GOT A JOB OUT AT THE BREWERY
I NEVER KNEW THAT SHE COULD DRIVE THAT WAY

1. GRANDPA WAS OUT DRINKING WITH THE FLOOZIES
SPENDING ALL OF GRANDMA'S HARD EARNED DOUGH
HE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TO PAY THE BAR TAB
SO WOODY TOSSED HIM OUT INTO THE SNOW

2. GRANDPA STOOD THERE FROZEN IN THE HEAD LIGHTS
HE LOOKED JUST AS HELPLESS AS A DEER
I DON'T THINK HE WAS AFRAID OF DYING
I THINK HE WAS AFRAID HE'D SPILL HIS BEER

(REPEAT CHORUS)

3. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT HE'D END UP AS A ROAD KILL
SHE FLATTENED HIM RIGHT OUT ON THE CENTER LINE
HE COULD HAVE MADE IT TO THE CURB IF HE WERE QUICKER
BUT SHE BACKED IT UP AND SQUASHED HIM ONE MORE TIME

4. GRANDMA CRIED AND CRIED AT GRANDMA'S FUNERAL
NOT BECAUSE WE PEELED HIM OFF THE ROAD
ALL THE LOOT SHE GOT FROM HIS INSURANCE
WENT TO PAY THE BAR TAB THAT HE OWED

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Copyright 1993 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
1. I WAS CLEANING OUT MY TOILET BOWL
WHEN YOUR BIRTHDAY CAME TO MIND
SO I SAT RIGHT DOWN TO WRITE FOR YOU
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY RHYME
SO HERE'S A BIRTHDAY SONG I WROTE
TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL
EVER SINCE YOU DUMPED ME
YOUR BIRTHDAY'S NO BIG DEAL

CHORUS:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FUNGUS FACE
NO ONE ELSE CAN TAKE YOUR PLACE
YOU A WORTHLESS PIECE OF HUMAN WASTE
I'M SO GLAD YOU'VE GONE AWAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAVER BREATH
YOU'RE NOT THAT EASY TO FORGET
YOU'RE JUST LIKE SOMETHING BAD I'VE ET
HAVE A LOUSY DAY

2. MAY YOU WRAP YOUR PRECIOUS PICK-UP TRUCK
AROUND A JACKP1NE TREE
AND NEVER GET A DIME 
FROM YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY
MAY YOUR BUDDIES GET RELIGION
MAY THE BREWERIES ALL RUN DRY
MAY YOU EAT SOME MOLDY BIRTHDAY CAKE
AND *** UNTIL YOU DIE

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Copyright 1991 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
1. I REMEMBER BACK IN ë58 WHEN I WAS JUST A LAD
I WENT UP TO THE COPPER COUNTRY HUNTING WITH MY DAD
THE GROUND WAS BARE AND FROZEN SO WE COULDNíT TRACK NO DEER
SO MY OLD MAN GOT HIS KNAPSACK AND HE FILLED IT UP WITH BEER
HE SAID WE GOTTA TAKE A HIKE WAY OUT IN THE WOODS
THEREíS THIS GUY NAMED HEIKKI LUNTA HEíS CRAZY BUT HEíS GOOD
WEíLL LET HIM DRINK A COUPLE BEERS AND WHEN HE STARTS TO GLOW
HEíLL DO THE HEIKKI LUNTA DANCE AND THEN JUST WATCH IT SNOW

CHORUS:
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE HEIKKI  LUNTA DANCE
MAKE IT SNOW, SNOW, SNOW HEIKKI  LUNTA SNOW
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE HEIKKI LUNTA DANCE

2. I REMEMBER IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE 15 YEARS AGO
ALL THE KIDS WERE CRYING CAUSE THEY DIDNíT HAVE NO SNOW
ACCORDING TO THE WEATHERMAN THEY DIDNíT HAVE A CHANCE
BUT THE WEATHERMAN DONíT KNOW ABOUT THE HEIKKI LUNTA DANCE
HEIKKI PUT HIS SNOWSHOES ON AND GRABBED A CAN OF BEER
HE PUT ON HIS GIANT PARTRIDGE WINGS AND ANTLERS FROM A DEER
THEN HE GRABBED A CEDAR BRANCH AND DANCED AROUND THE YARD
EVERYBODY SAID THEY NEVER SEEN IT SNOW SO HARD
 

3. I RECALL A TOURNAMENT OUT AT SUICIDE
ALL THE SNOW WAS MELTING AND WE COULDNíT GET A RIDE
ONE CRAZY FINN CAME DOWN THE HILL AND LANDED ON THE ROCKS
THEY SENT HIM BACK TO FINLAND IN A HOMEMADE CEDAR BOX
WE LOOKED FOR HEIKKI LUNTA BUT HE WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND
WE COULDNíT DO NO JUMPING WITH NO SNOW ON THE GROUND
IT WAS CARL PELLONPAA WHO FINALLY SAVED THE DAY
WE DID THE HEIKKI LUNTA DANCE I THINK IT SNOWED TILL MAY

Copyright 1991 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
1. WHEN THE WINTERíS HERE AND WEíRE FEELING BLUE
ME AND TOIVO WE HEAD FOR THE SOO
HE BRINGS THE PASTIES AND I BRING THE BEER
JUST LIKE WE DONE FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS
WE SEE THOSE CRAZY RACERS ON THEIR SNOW MACHINES
RACING TO SEE WHO GETS TO KISS THE QUEEN
YOU WONíT GET ME ON NO SNOWMOBILE
I WONíT RIDE NOTHINí THAT DONíT HAVE WHEELS

CHORUS:
ITíS THE 1-500 THAT WE COME TO SEE
THE BIGGEST EVENT IN THE WHOLE U.P.
WE STAND AROUND AND POUR BEER IN OUR FACE
AT THE 1-500 SNOW MACHINE RACE

2. THEREíS TROLLS AND CHEESE HEADS AND YOOPERS TOO
FROM AROUND THE WORLD WE ALL COME TO THE S00
THOSE GOOD OLí CANADIANS ALL COME HERE
THEYíRE EATING OUR PASTIES AND WEíRE DRINKING THEIR BEER
THOSE LUMBERJACKS COME ALL THE WAY FROM DULUTH
THEY LOOK LIKE YOOPERS IN THEIR GOLD SEAL BOOTS
HERE COME THE GUYS FROM THE TV NEWS
I SEEN ëEM LAST NIGHT THROWING UP ON THEIR SHOES

ITíS THE 1-500 THAT WE COME TO SEE
THE BIGGEST EVENT IN THE WHOLE U.P.
WE STAND AROUND AND POUR BEER IN OUR FACE
AT THE 1-500 SNOW MACHINE RACE

I GO LOOKING FOR TOIVO AT THE END OF THE DAY
HE MUSTA GOT DRUNK AND HE WANDERED AWAY
I FIND HIM FROZEN TO THE PORTA-JOHN SEAT
WITH A FROZEN BEER AND TWO FROZEN FEET

ITíS THE 1-500 THAT WE COME TO SEE
THE BIGGEST EVENT IN THE WHOLE U.P.
WE STAND AROUND AND POUR BEER IN OUR FACE
AT THE 1-500 SNOW MACHINE RACE

Copyright 1991 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
1. MY BEAGLE DRIVES A RABBIT 
ALL NIGHT LONG
HE AND HIS BUDDY PETE CRUISE THE BUSH ROADS 
OUT OF TOWN
WELL I SORTA SUSPECTED THOSE TWO RIGHT 
FROM THE START
NOW A STICK OF DYNAMITE WON'T BREAK 
THOSE TWO APART

2. THE BUDDIES THINK HE'S A GOOD OLE' 
STUDDLY HOUND
THE GREATEST DAMNED OLE' RABBIT DRIVING 
MUTT AROUND
BUT THEY DON'T KNOW HIS TAIL WAGS THE 
OTHER WAY, HOLY WAH
I'M TELLING YOU, I THINK MY 
BEAGLE'S GAY

CHORUS:
IT'S HUMILIATING, AGGRAVATING, 
FRUSTRATING, IRRITATING
WHEN YOUR DOG'S A FORNICATING 
ON THE MAIL MAN'S LEG
THE HUMILIATION, AGGRAVATION, 
FRUSTRATION THAT YOU FEEL
WHEN YOUR DOG'S GOT A RED ONE 
FOR THE NEIGHBOR'S BULLDOG STAG
IT'S REPUGNANT, SHOULD I MAKE HIM CHANGE HIS WAYS?
IT'S REDUNDANT, WILL HE ALWAYS BE THIS WAY?
YOU KNOW LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING 
AND LOVE IS BLIND THEY SAY
BUT I'M NOT SURE, I THINK MY BEAGLE'S GAY

3. DA WIFE TOLD ME THAT I WAS 
BEING A FOOL
IT'S JUST ANOTHER DOGGY PHASE 
HE'S GOING THROUGH
SO I TOOK HIM TO MUTTIE MAKIE'S 
DOWN THE STREET
HE HAD A BEAUTIFUL FEMALE BEAGLE
SHE WAS IN HEAT

4. I SAID TO MY DOG, "GO GET HER STUDDLY, 
YEAH, HAVE SOME FUN"
"SHE'S RIGHT OVER THERE, COME ON, GO AHEAD, 
SHOW OLE' MUTTI HERE HOW IT'S DONE"
WELL, HE WENT OVER THERE AND 
TOOK A SNIFF
BUT THEN HE YAWNED AND TOOK A 
GREAT BIG POOP
MUTTI LAUGHED AND LAUGHED, 
I FELT LIKE A STOOP!

(REPEAT CHORUS)
IT'S OK THAT MY BEAGLE'S GAY

Copyright 1996 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 

I WANT A RINKY DINKY DOODAD FOR CHRISTMAS I DO
MY FRIENDS AT SCHOOL ALL WANT ONE TOO
I WANT A RINKY DINKY DOODAD FOR CHRISTMAS
ITíS EXCELLENT, AWESOME, AND COOL

HEY DAD,
YES SON,
DID YOU GO SHOPKO?
I WAS IN LINE FOR A WEEK, AND THEY HAVE NO MORE
HEY MOM,
YES DEAR,
DID YOU GO KMART?
YES AND I BARELY SURVIVED
THERE WAS NO PLACE TO PARK SO I PARKED ACROSS TOWN
AND WHEN I GOT INSIDE I WAS NEARLY KNOCKED DOWN
BY THE EYE GOUGING, CART STEALING, HAIR PULLING MOB
THEN A MESSAGE CAME OVER THE INTERCOM
 

ATTENTION KMART SHOPPERS, BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL IN TOY
DEPARTMENT ON RINKY STINKY DOO DUMS. OR WHATEVER... 40% OFF NEXT FIVE MINUTES ONLY

LADIES SCREAMING, PURSES BASHING, CHILDREN CRYING, CARTS ARE CRASHING, SHOPPERS TO AND FRO ARE DASHING, BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL, PRICES SLASHING, 
EVERY YEAR THIS CHRISTMAS MADNESS,
GOT TO GIVE THE GIFT OF GLADNESS, OVER THERE I SEE THE LAST ONE, GOT TO GET THERE BE THE FAST ONE, 
OH MY GOD, THEREíS ONE MORE LEFT AND IíVE GOT IT!

SO DID YOU GET ME ONE MOM? 
YES, NO DEAR, BUT YOUíLL HAVE TO WAIT TILL CHRISTMAS MORNING TO FIND OUT

YIPPIE!!!!!
I GOT A RINKY, DINKY, DOODAD FOR CHRISTMAS I DID
I JUST CANíT WAIT TO TELL ALL THE KIDS
I GOT A RINKY, DINKY, DOODAD FOR CHRISTMAS (....STOP)

SON,
YES DAD, 
SORRY BUT WEíLL HAVE TO SEND MR. RINKY BACK
WHY DAD?
BECAUSE MR. DOODADS BEEN CHEWING
CHILDREN'S TOES OFF, SO THEY'VE BEEN RECALLED.
OH, THATíS OK DAD, CAUSE WHAT I REALLY WANT IS EVEN MORE BETTER...
WELL, WHAT IS IT SON? A NEW FOOTBALL, A BIKE, A
COMPUTER GAME?

I WANT A SUPER YOOPER (parents groan), BING BOING FOR CHRISTMAS I DO
MY FRIENDS AT SCHOOL ALL WANT ONE TOO 
A SUPER YOOPER BING BOING FOR CHRISTMAS
ITíS EXCELLENT, AWESOME AND COOL

Copyright 2000 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 

1. ITíS 40 BELOW, THE SNOWíS PILLING UP, ITíS A PERFECT FISHING
DAY
SLIDING DOWN TO TIP UP TOWN ON LAKE OWANAWAY
OH THE ICE IS FREEZING, ITíS ICE FISHING SEASON
MAN AGAINST THE ELEMENTS OUT ON SHELTER BAY 
OUR ICE SHACKíS GOT A SAUNA AND A SATELLITE TV
WALL TO HOLE CARPETING, ITíS A GROOVY PLACE TO BE
LIFE IS SO VERY NICE OUT ON THAT FROZEN ICE
ICE SHACKINí WITH THE GUYS IS PARADISE TO ME

CHORUS:
ICE SHACKERS IN PARADISE, KICKING BACK, TELLING LIES
SITTING ROUNDí A HOLE THATíS SQUARE, WE DONíT HAVE A SINGLE
CARE
THE WIFE'S THINK WEíRE NUTS, FREEZING OFF OUR LITTLE BUTTS
ICE FISHING IS FOREVER, WEíLL GO TO WORK WHENEVER 

2. WE GOT BEER IN THE SNOW, BAIT & THE POLES, AND LAZY BOY
RECLINERS
LAYING BACK, LETTINí LINE, LIFE COULD BE NO FINER
OILING UP ON 22ís, CHASE AWAY THE WINTER BLUES
ITíS A PERFECT WAY TO SPEND THE DAY OUT THERE DUNKINí
SHINERS

HEAR THE ARCTIC WINDS A BLOWING, GRAB THE POLES AND LET S GET GOING, COME ON ALL YOU FISHING ACES, HEAD ON OUT TO THE FROZEN OASIS

 

Copyright 1998 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
1. HIS NAME IS JOHNNY PECKANEN 
HE WAS HATCHED UP IN AHMEEK
WORKED THE WHITE PINE COPPER MINE
SEVEN DAYS A WEEK
WHEN COPPER TOOK A NOSE DIVE 
HE GOT HIS WALKING PAPERS
HAD TO SELL THE FAMILY FARM 
JUST TO TRY TO MAKE ëER

CHORUS: 
HE'S YOOPANESE, YOOPANESE, 
A VERY SPECIAL BREED
DAGO, FIN, COUSIN JACK, 
GERMAN, FRENCH AND SWEDE
HE GREW UP WITH THE MAKI BOYS 
IN BUMBLE TOWN LOCATION
HE DUG THE ORE AND CUT THE TREES 
THAT BUILT THIS MIGHTY NATION

2. HE MOVED DOWN TO MILWAUKEE, 
NO CALL BACKS FROM THE MINE
THEY WERE HIRING AT THIS FACTORY 
SO HE WENT AND STOOD IN LINE
THE BOSS SAID, ìHAY, WE'RE YOU FROM?î 
JOHNNY SAID, ìYOOPERLAND USA"
THE BOSS SAID, ìGO GET YOUR BUCKET YOOPER!" 
"YOU START TO WORK TODAY!î
"I'VE ALWAYS HIRED YOOPERS," 
"WE GET ALONG SO WELL"
"THEY'RE HONEST AND DEPENDABLE," 
"AND ALWAYS WORK LIKE HELL"
"THEY KNOW THE VALUE OF A DIME," 
"AND DON'T EXPECT NOTHING FREE"
"YOU KNOW ANY OTHER YOOPERS," 
"TELL ëEM THEY CAN WORK FOR ME!"

CHORUS: 
WE'RE YOOPANESE, YOOPANESE, 
A VERY SPECIAL BREED
DAGO, FIN, COUSIN JACK, 
GERMAN, FRENCH AND SWEDE
WE GREW UP WITH THE MAKI BOYS 
IN BUMBLE TOWN LOCATION
WE DUG THE ORE AND CUT THE TREES 
THAT BUILT THIS MIGHTY NATION

3. HE STARTED UP A FAMILY, 
MOVED BACK TO YOOPERLAND
GOT A JOB AT HOUGHTON TECH 
SWEEPING UP THE SAND
HE SAID, ìLIVING IN THE OLEí UP" 
"IS THE LIFE FOR MEî

CHORUS:
I'M YOOPANESE, YOOPANESE, 
DON'T PUT A STAMP ON ME 
IRISH, JEWISH, INDIAN, 
WE'RE ALL THE SAME YOU SEE
WE HAVE TWELFTH GRADE EDUCATION'S 
AND BACHELORS DEGREES
RICH AND POOR, MIDDLE CLASS, 
WE'RE ALL YOOPANESE

Copyright 1998 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
(FEMALE VOCAL)
1. SHUT THE DOOR YOUNG MAN AND PUT DOWN THOSE BOOKS
DONíT STAND THERE GIVING ME THOSE DIRTY LOOKS
I SAW YOU KICKING THAT SWEET LITTLE GIRL
THAT LITTLE RONETTE WITH THE PRETTY BLONDE CURLS
I SAW THOSE TEARS IN HER PRETTY BLUE EYES
NOW GET OUT THERE AND APOLOGIZE

(MALE VOCAL)
2. YOU THINK IíM CRAZY I DONíT WANNA DIE
SHEíS JUST FAKINí IT SHE DONíT CRY
SHE LOOKS SO SWEET AND SHE ACTS SO GOOD
SHEíS THE NORMAN BATES OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD
SHEíS DIRTY AND ROTTEN AND SNEAKY AND MEAN
SHE AINíT NO GIRL SHEíS A DEATH MACHINE

CHORUS:
DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE
DIRTY LITTLE TEACHERíS PET
ALL YOU TEACHERS THINK SHEíS NEAT
YOU DONíT KNOW SHE EATS RAW MEAT
WEíRE JUST LUCKY SHE AINíT KILLED US YET
DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE

(FEMALE VOCAL)
3. LISTEN YOUNG MAN I KNOW YOUíRE LYING
LOOK AT THAT ANGEL YOU'VE GOT HER CRYING
SHEíS SO SWEET AND SHEíS SO CUTE
HOW COULD YOU PICK ON HER YOU BRUTE
SHE TOLD ME JUST HOW MEAN YOU WERE
NOW GET OUT THERE AND MAKE UP WITH HER

(MALE VOCAL)
4. IF YOU MAKE ME GO OUT THERE
SHEíLL GOUGE MY EYES AND TEAR MY HAIR
SHEíLL PUNCH MY NOSE JUST TO WATCH IT SQUIRT
THEN SHEíLL KICK ME WHERE IT HURTS
LET ME GO TURN ME LOOSE
IíLL SUE YOUR BUTT FOR CHILD ABUSE

CHORUS:
DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE
DIRTY LITTLE TEACHERíS PET
SHE GROWS FANGS WHEN SHEíS OUT OF SCHOOL
HER EYES TURN RED AND SHE STARTS TO DROOL
WEíRE JUST LUCKY SHE AINíT KILLED US YET
DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE

DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE
DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE
WEíRE JUST LUCKY SHE AINíT KILLED US YET
DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE

Copyright 1991 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
1. I LOOKED DOWN INTO HER BLOODSHOT EYES
SHE SAID ìSAVE A BEER FOR ME"
I SAID, "IíLL HAVE TO DRINK IT LATER CAUSE NOW I GOTTA PEEî
SHE REACHED DOWN AND GRABBED MY GONADS
AND SHE SQUEEZED ëEM IN HER HAND
SHE SAID ìYOU AINíT GOING NOWHERE 
CAUSE NOW I NEED A MANî

2. BUT I GOTTA GO REAL BAD 
AND I JUST CAN'T TAKE A CHANCE
I GOTTA BEAT IT FOR THE OUTHOUSE BEFORE I *** MY PANTS
THEN WE BOTH HEARD SOMETHING COMING
AND IT SOUNDED LIKE A TANK
SHE SAID, ìHOLY SIT IT'S TOIVO!î 
AND SHE GAME ëEM ONE LAST YANK

CHORUS:
I WAS JUST A LONELY YOOPER SHE GRABBED ME BY THE RUMP
SHE SAID HER HUSBAND TOIVO HE LAID THERE LIKE A STUMP
SHE SAID, ìYOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY WE'LL BE SAFE OUT HERE"
"TOIVO NEVER COMES TO CAMP UNLESS HE'S HUNTING DEERî

3. THEN I SAW OLE'í TOIVO, 
HE WAS LOADING UP HIS GUN
I RAN OUT FOR THE OUTHOUSE, I THINK HE SAW ME RUN
WHEN TOIVO CAME STOMPING DOWN THE PATH 
I THINK HE HEARD ME GROAN
BUT WHEN HE OPENED THE OUTHOUSE DOOR 
THERE WAS NO ONE ON THE THRONE

4. I LOOKED UP FROM THE SIT PILE 
AT THE HOLE I JUST JUMPED THROUGH
I WAS SINKING PAST MY SHOULDERS 
I WONDERED WHAT HE'D DO
THEN TOIVO DROPPED HIS TROUSERS 
AND I WISHED THAT I WAS DEAD
I COULD HEAR HIM UP THERE GIGGLING 
AS HE SIT UPON MY HEAD

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Copyright 1991 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
1. FIRST THING YOU DID ON THE DAY WE MET
YOU TOOK AWAY MY CIGARETTES
ONCE YOU GOT MY NICOTINE
YOU NAGGED UNTIL I QUIT CAFFEINE
BUT YOU WEREN'T SATISFIED WITH THAT
YOU TOLD ME I WAS GETTING FAT
YOU TOOK MY BEER YOU TOOK MY SWEETS
NOW YOUíRE TRYING TO TAKE MY MEAT

CHORUS:
IíM A MEAT HEAD YES I AM
I LOVE THAT BEEF AND PORK AND HAM
I LOVE IT FRIED SMOKED OR STEWED
BAKED OR BROILED OR BARBECUED
BACON STRIPS SIRLOIN TIPS
DOWN MY CHIN THAT SAUCE WILL DRIP
I LOVE TO REAR THOSE BURGERS FRY
IíLL BE A MEAT HEAD TILL I DIE

2. YOU TOLD ME I WAS BLIMPING OUT
YOU MADE ME EAT ALFALFA SPROUTS
BUT RABBIT FOOD WAS SUCH A BORE
IíD RATHER BE A CARNIVORE
I NEED FOOD THAT I CAN CHEW
ITíS IN MY BLOOD TO BARBECUE
YOU CAN KEEP YOUR BRUSSEL SPROUTS
IíLL DIE WITH A PORK CHOP IN MY MOUTH

3. IFí I WAS SITTING ON DEATH ROW
AND I HAD ONE MORE MEAL TO GO
I WOULDNíT ASK FOR DRY RICE CAKES
SOY BEAN SOUP OR BARLEY FLAKES
IíD ASK THE WARDEN FOR ONE LAST RIDE
TO A BURGER JOINT WE CALL CLYDEíS
IíD ORDER A DOZEN BURGERS TO GO
IíD TAKE MY TIME AND EAT ëEM SLOW

IíM A MEAT HEAD YES I AM
I LOVE THAT BEEF AND PORK AND HAM
I LOVE IT FRIED SMOKED OR STEWED
BAKED OR BROILED OR BARBECUED
WEENIES ROASTED ON A STICK
JUICY STEAKS NICE AND THICK
I LOVE TO HEAR THOSE BURGERS FRY
IíLL BE A MEAT HEAD TILL I DIE

Copyright 1993 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
(FEMALE VOCAL)
1. I KNEW YOU WERE A PSYCHO RIGHT FROM THE START
YOU MEASURE YOUR FRIENDS BY THE WAY THAT THEY FART
WHEN MY FRIENDS COME AROUND I FEEL SO DEGRADED
YOU ACT LIKE A DWEEB THEY SAY, ìIS HE RELATED?î

(MALE VOCAL)
HEY PIZZA FACE YOU LOOK LIKE A BLISTER
I DON'T TELL ANYONE YOU'RE MY SISTER
LOOK AT THOSE TEETH YOU LOOK LIKE A BEAVER
AND THOSE EARS OF YOURS LOOK LIKE RADAR RECEIVERS

CHORUS: (FEMALE VOCAL)
GET OFF MY CASE YOU BIG BUTT FACE
YOU'RE TOO WEIRD FOR THE HUMAN RACE
YOU'RE A MENTAL MONKEY THAT BELONGS IN A ZOO
AND ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE AS GEEKY AS YOU

(FEMALE VOCAL)
2. YOU EAT LIKE A PIG AND YOU LOOK LIKE ONE TOO
IT SMELLS LIKE SOMETHING DIED IN YOUR SHOES
YOU GOT POTATOES GROWING OUT OF YOUR EARS
ARE YOU PLANNING ON TAKiNG A BATH THIS YEAR?

(MALE VOCAL)
YOU GOT A BODY JUST LIKE DONALD DUCK
YOUR FACE COULD STOP A GARBAGE TRUCK
YOU CAMP IN THE BATHROOM TO FIX YOUR HAIR
ITS NOT HALLOWEEN WHO YOU TRYING TO SCARE?

(REPEAT CHORUS)

(MALE VOCAL)
3. GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR YOU LOOK LIKE A DORK
HAS SOMEONE BEEN STABBING YOUR FACE WITH A FORK?
YOU DON'T NEED NOSE PLUGS WHEN YOU GO FOR A SWIM
YOU COULD PLUG UP THOSE Nostrils WITH TWO BOWLING PINS

(FEMALE VOCAL)
YOU THINK YOU'RE HOT AND YOU THINK YOUíRE GREAT
HOW COME YOU CAN'T GET A HUMAN TO DATE?
YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER
HE LOOKS LIKE FREDDY AND YOU LOOK LIKE HIS MOTHER

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Copyright 1991 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
1. I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND ITS FORTY BELOW
THE WEATHERMAN TELLS ME ITS TOO COLD TO SNOW
I LOOK OUT THE WINDOW AND I KNOW THAT HE'S LYING
MY CAR'S OUT OF SIGHT AND THE SNOWS STILL FLYING
"WILL THE CAR START?" YOU KNOW IT WON'T
"DID THEY PLOW THE ROAD?" YOU KNOW THEY DON'T
"AM I LATE FOR WORK?" YOU KNOW YOU ARE
STUCK AGAIN? SOíS YOUR CAR

CHORUS:
I SHOVEL AND I SHOVEL AND I SHOVEL THAT SNOW
I GOTTA GET OUT, BUT MY CAR WON'T GO
I GET THE CABIN FEVER WHEN THE NORTH WIND BLOWS
I GOTTA GET OUT, BUT MY CAR WON'T GO

2. I CALL UP THE NEIGHBOR, HE'S GOT FOUR WHEEL DRIVE
HE CAN'T GET OUT HE'S BURIED ALIVE
SNOWSHOE OVER, PLAY SOME FIFTEEN TWO
I GOTTA CHEER UP CAUSE I FEEL SO BLUE
"CRANK UP THE BLOWER," IT WON'T RUN
"GRAB THE SHOVEL," ITS MUCH MORE FUN
"MY BACK IS BROKE," YOU'RE HALFWAY THERE
SNOWING AGAIN, BUT I DON'T CARE

(REPEAT CHORUS)

I HAVE A HOT DATE, CAN'T BE LATE
STILL SNOWED IN SHE JUST CAN'T WAIT
STUCK IN THE DRIVE, STUCK IN THE HOUSE
WATCHING TV STUCK ON THE COUCH
"START EATING AGAIN," OH WHAT A BORE
"I JUMPED A SIZE," OH EAT SOME MORE
"I LOOK LIKE HELL," WELL LOOSEN THE BELT
ONE OF THESE DAYS THIS SNOWS GONNA MELT

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Copyright 1991 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039

 
1. NAKED ELVES IN COWBOY BOOTS
CHASING ME WHEREVER I GO
THOSE NAKED ELVES IN COWBOY BOOTS
THEY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE
A JIGGLIN', GIGGLIN', BOINGY, BOINGY, BOINGY
RUNNING DOWN THE ROAD I SEE
NAKED ELVES IN COWBOY BOOTS 
THEY JUST WON'T LET ME BE

2. I'M HIDING AT THE CORNER BAR
AND THEY'RE WAITING OUTSIDE FOR ME
FIVE BEERS, TEN BEERS, TWENTY BEERS LATER 
I LOOK OUTSIDE TO SEE
I PEEK AROUND THE CORNER ACROSS DA STREET
GUESS WHO'S SPYING ON ME
THOSE NAKED ELVES IN COWBOY BOOTS
MAKING FUNNY FACES AT ME

BRIDGE: 
I'M A GONNA WRITE A LETTER TO SANTA
I'M A GONNA GIVE HIM PRAISE
I'M A GONNA TELL HIM THAT HE'S NEAT 
AND THAT I'VE CHANGED MY WAYS
DA WHOLE TOWN OF REPUBLIC'S GONNA SEE 
I'M NOT A SCROOGE NO MORE
THEN MAYBE THOSE OLE' NAKED ELVES 
WON'T CHASE ME 'ROUND NO MORE

3. QUARTER AFTER TWO DA BAR'S CLOSING UP 
AND WOO DIE'S ASKING US TO LEAVE
I TELL HIM THERE'S NAKED ELVES OUT THERE
HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE I'M CRAZY
HE GIVES ME A KICK, OUT THE DOOR I GO
A BOUNCING ON MY BUM
THAT'S WHEN I HEAR THEIR LITTLE BOOTS
I THINK I BETTER RUN

4. NAKED ELVES IN COWBOY BOOTS
CHASING ME ALL THE WAY HOME
SOME TEENS LOITERING AT THE CITGO GAS
ASK ME WHAT I'M RUNNING FOR
I TELL 'EM, "CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS IN EVERY WAY"
"'CAUSE IF YOUR A SCROOGE, YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY"
HERE COMES THOSE NAKED ELVES IN COWBOY BOOTS
I HOPE I GET AWAY

Copyright 2000 You Guys Records ï 490 N. Steel St. , Ishpeming, Ml 49849 (906) 485-5595 Fax (906) 485-5039