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| 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. |
| 2. Use CB lingo where applicable. |
| 3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. |
| 4. Terminate the call with, ìRemember, we never had this conversation.î |
| 5. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and youíre going with the lowest bidder. |
| 6. Give them your address, exclaim, ìOh, just surprise me!î and hang up. |
| 7. Tell them to put the crust on top this time. |
| 8. Exaggerate your voice when you say ìcrazy bread.î |
| 9. Stutter on the letter ìp.î |
| 10. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say ìWhere was I? Who are you? |
| 11. Ask what the order taker is wearing. |
| 12. Order two toppings, then say, ìNo, theyíll start fighting.î |
| 13. When they repeat your order, say, ìRepeat that again, with a little
more
OOMPH this time. |
| 14. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, and then behave as if they called you. |
| 15. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say ìNo mushrooms, please.î Hang up before they have a chance to respond. |
| 16. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper. |
| 17. If they repeat the order to make sure they have right, say ìOK. Thatíll be $10.99, please pull up to the first window.î |
| 18. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief. |
| 19. Put the accent on the last syllable of ìpepperoni.î Use the long
ìiî
sound. |
| 20. When they say ìWhat would you like?î say, ìHuh? Oh, you mean now.î |
| 21. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza. |
| 22. Order a steamed pizza. |
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