Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

When it rains why don't sheep shrink?

If a cat falls out of the back of a pickup truck going down the road at 60 mph is it kitty litter?

If you mixed vodka wit orange juice and Milk of Magnesia would you get a Phillips Screwdriver?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What the heck is a whack?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the english language,
could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't t follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If you butter your bread on the other side will it fall right side up?

Why do you need a drivers license to but beer when you can't drink and drive?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is it when you transport something by bar it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

If a cow laughs would milk come out of their nose?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

You're proud of your lawn mower

You buy a compass for the dash of your pickup

You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge

Your ears are hairy than your head

You talk about good grass and you're referring to the neighbors lawn

You go bowling without drinking

You have a party and your neighbors don't realize it

You keep more food in the icebox than beer

You hear your favorite song on the elevator

Young guys pass you up and yell "Get a horse!"

Uncles feel comfortable telling jokes around you

Burger King and a movie is the whole date, instead of the start of one

Boones Farm wine is not "pretty good stuff"

"I can't drink like I use to..." replaces "I'm never gonna drink again"

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my hand through it

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car

The guy was all over the road, I have to swerve a number of times before I hit him

I pulled away from the side of the road, glance at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows

The telephone pole was approaching, I attempted to swerve out of its way,
when it struck my front end