CHRISTIAN POLKA BAND DENIES BEING 'KINGS OF POLKA'
   All three members of The Apostils of Polka, which has released three 8-tracks on the Truth Records label since its beginning in 1974, strongly denied the charges of being ‘kings of polka,’ which have been made by faithful fans since 1980 following an Apostils of Polka gig in which accordionist Otto jumped up on the pool table while soloing to “I Saw The Light” at the Gwinn Inn in Gwinn, MI.
    "Even doe I’m flattered, it really gets my goat dat people would say dat about us," said Apostils of Polka drummer Paavo Muukkonen, 58. "yeah, our way of ruling da stage and our style may be ‘kingly’ to some degree, but we’re not kings of anyting, dere’s only one king!
   If found guilty of truly being “kings of polka,” Apostils of Polka could face a local uprising from area musicians, including being banned from open mic at Hicky’s Bar in Ishpeming, MI.
   "Apostils of Polka needs to stop jumping on pool tables and start slowing it down a heck of a lot more," said Fred Mikkola, bar manager for the White Tail Tavern. Mikkola suggested that a few more waltzes rather than fast paced, fever pitched polkas might be the ticket; Mikkola also admitted he never could dance a polka.
   “I look like a stooge out dere! But I can slow dance,” he stated.
"Dey’ve gone way to far, dese gomers, it’s not fair to does of us who can’t jump around on stage,” agreed Buck-rub, a one-man band, whose 8-track “Do Da Polka-motion Wit Me” can be found at rummage sales and in pawn shops U.P. wide. “I got all I can do to play one hand accordion, bang a garbage can wit da udder hand, and stomp my foot on a bicycle horn while playing kazoo wit my lips! I aint jumpin’ on no pool table like a monkey!”

Truth Records recording artists 'The Apostils of Polka,' which strongly denies all allegations of being ‘kings of polka.’

No admittance from the band of being “kings of polka” has ever occurred.    According to The Apostils of Polka bassist Lips Perry, no admittance from the band of being “kings of polka” has ever occurred.   "We do recognize dat dere are bands out dere dat rule, or have ruled, in a kingly way. Look at Elvis, does anyone gripe about him being da king? Or dat Jackson guy, da king of pop, holy cripe? All we’re trying to say is dat we don’t tink we’re da kings of anyting. But dat don’t mean we don’t rule!”    When asked about rumors that the Apostils of Polka was deliberately being ‘kings of polka’ to gain free beer, Paavo blew a nut. "How in da heck does rocking out and ruling da stage constitute trying to get free brew? If some babe or two or tree brings a cold one up to da stage for us, dat’s dere doing, and I hope dey keep it up!”     Sirpa Niemi, a Negaunee resident who saw Saturdays Apostils of Polka concert, stuck up for the band. "Dey are da kings of polka, but it’s not like dey’re goin’ ‘round making people kiss dere feet n’ stuff," she said. "dat Paavo guy on accordion did have me fetch him beers a lot doe."    Story by Jim Bellmore