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TRIVIA

CHINA RESPONSIBLE FOR ORIGIN OF LIFE HERE ON EARTH
  The search for the origin of life is important. If it can be discovered, the knowledge will help give us a deeper understanding of ourselves and may answer the burning question: does life exist elsewhere besides here on earth?
  Now presented here for the first time, hard evidence on the origin of life has finally been seen and authorized by the discoverer himself, Yimmi Tucker; scientist and head of the Yoop Research Lab (located in the basement of Woody’s bar, Ishpeming, MI), in collaboration with scientist friends from the National Mine area of Ishpeming.


Yimmi Tucker

  Yimmi Tucker explains that the origin was discovered while testing out his homemade atomic force microscope. Yimmi explains;
“Da smallest ting that yous can see wit a ‘light’ microscope is about 500 nanometers. Da nanometer is one-billionth of a meter, about 200 times smaller den da width of a hair. Bacteria germs are about 1000 nanometers big. Dat’s a whopper next to a nanometer, eh! Da reason nuttin smaller can be seen wit da light microscopes is because dey use light. Yous don’t tink about light as having a size, but see-able light is about 500-800 nanometers. To eyeball anyting smaller yous need a pretty much more powerful microscope.
  Electron microscopes eyeball tings using electrons instead of light. Electrons are pretty much a lot smaller den da wavelength of visible light, so a lot smaller tings can be seen wit dese real good electron microscopes.


Carbon Nanaotube - Atomic force microscope

  But, da world’s most powerful microscopes don’t eyeball tings wit light or even electrons. Dey see tings by feeling dem up, don’t cha know; feeling dem up wit a pretty sharp tip on da end of dis ting dat looks like a needle.
  I put carbon nanotubes on da end to make dat bugger even sharper. I made a tip so sharp dat it’s only a few atoms wide. It’s so sharp dat as it is moves across someting it feels its shape. Dis ting is called da Atomic Force Microscope, because it can see stuff by da forces between atoms. I made mine wit stuff I found at da dump don't cha know.
  So anyway, wit da AFM you can see stuff as small as a strand of DNA or even just individual atoms you bet! I told my buddy Amos dat he should get his woman one a dese so she can use it to find his wiener! HA HAAA! But seriously, dis ting is state of dat art. There aint nuttin' more better when it comes to eye-ballin' da absolute smallest of stuff a lot a little bit!


Yimmi's buddy Amos
  So, one day I’m bored and I taught I’d look at my buddy Amos’s DNA. I asked him, he said no, so I jabbed him wit a sterilized fork to extract a sample. He screamed and almost spilt his jumbo! I placed da sample under da scope, sat back wit a cold brew and began my research. I wasn't’t expectin’ to find much, other den proof dat Amos was more of a chimp den human, ha haaa!.
But, as I focused da scope, I choked in amazement! I told Amos to get his butt over here to confirm what I was seeing. He saw it too. Not only was I seeing a double helix single strand of DNA, I was also seeing da words “MADE IN CHINA,” stamped in gold molecules on da back.
Before I could get a word out, Amos yelled “YOUR NEXT” and jabbed me wit da same fork. I screamed in pain, den told him dat da fork needed to be sterilized first. So, he wiped it on his sleeve den jabbed me. Da end results were da same. My DNA sample also stated “MADE IN CHINA.”
A sample of Yimmi's unlinked DNA. The red box is enlarged in the next photo
The same sample showing enlarged area

  Since den every life form I’ve researched features dis stamp. Boy, we all know dat those Chinese make a lotta stuff, but I never would’a guessed dat dey started life! I should win dat Noble prize or somting for dis, eh!”
   In the weeks since Tucker's work, many variants of his procedure have been tried. He has published papers on his work and submitted them to top Universities for further research and review.
  He now awaits the inevitable praise from his colleges and also the expected debates with the critics.
“When I win dat Noble prize and dey see me on da cover of dat Scientific Americans, den de'll all know I aint no rummy! Dat will learn ‘em!”
   Story by Jim Bellmore

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