Da Yooper's 
How To Get Rid Of Tele Marketers"
Try these the next time some one wants to sell you something over the phone
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, How are you today? say, Why do you want to know? Alternately, you can tell them, Im so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died... When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.
3. If they say theyre Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if youre male: Telemarketer: Hi, my name is Judy and Im with Canter & Siegel services... You: Hang on a second. a few seconds pause Okay, in really husky voice What are you wearing? Telemarketer: Click.
5. Cry out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, Judy! Is that you? Oh, my GOD! Judy, how have you BEEN? Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of tenor as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
6. Say No, over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep an even tempo even as theyre trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, I dont have any friends.. .would you be my friend?
8. If they clean rugs: can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood? Alternate: sonny, my floor is made of stone.
9. . Let the person go though their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional Uh-huh, Really or How fascinating. Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them you couldnt just give out your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. . Tell them you work for the same company they work for example:

Telemarketer: This is Bill from WaterTronics.
You: WaterTronics! Hey, I work for them too. Where are you calling from?
Telemarketer: Uh. . .Dallas, Texas.
You: Great, they have a group there too? Hows business/the weather?!?
Telemarketer: Sorry, we cant sell to employees.
You: Oh, okay. Bye!
 

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, Shout or scream Oh my God!" and then hang up.
12. (Jerry Seinfeld version) Tell the telemarketer youre busy at the moment and if they give you their phone number, youll call them back. Telemarketer will say, Were not allowed to give out our number. You say, I guess you dont want anyone bothering you at work, right? Telemarketer will agree. You say, now you know how I feel! Hang-up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinnertime, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speakerphone while you continue eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell them you are on home incarceration and ask if they could please bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Okay, Ill listen to you. But I should probably tell you, Im not wearing any clothes.
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously Leon, hows your momma?

Yooperville U.S.A.

Shop Da Tourist Trap Web Store! Click Here....

Click here to contact usContact us for bookings or to get on our mailing list.