Da Yooper's 
"Zany Ways To Order A Pizza"
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Use CB lingo where applicable.
3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
4. Terminate the call with, Remember, we never had this conversation.
5. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and youre going with the lowest bidder.
6. Give them your address, exclaim, Oh, just surprise me! and hang up.
7. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
8. Exaggerate your voice when you say crazy bread.
9. Stutter on the letter p.
10. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say Where was I? Who are you?
11. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
12. Order two toppings, then say, No, theyll start fighting.
13. When they repeat your order, say, Repeat that again, with a little more
 OOMPH this time.
14. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, and then behave as if they called you.
15. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say No mushrooms, please. Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
16. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
17. If they repeat the order to make sure they have right, say OK. Thatll be $10.99, please pull up to the first window.
18. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
19. Put the accent on the last syllable of pepperoni. Use the long i
sound.
20. When they say What would you like? say, Huh? Oh, you mean now.
21. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
22. Order a steamed pizza.

Yooperville U.S.A.

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